Riding the Bull

Have you ever ridden a bull, like a real bull or even an electronic one? Yeah, well, I haven’t but I know the premise; you hold on for dear life so that you don’t fall off.

I find that changing Xander’s diaper has become just like trying to ride a bull. He flips, he flops, he twists, he turns, he kicks, and he grunts. I find myself holding (or trying) to hold on to his legs much like you would try to hold on to the braided rope of the bull so you don’t fall off but I do it so that he doesn’t fall off the changing table.  Change him on the floor? Haha, I laugh at you for thinking that because now if for some reason he gets out of my bull hold he is off crawling away with shit chunks just barely holding on to the skin of his butt.

What I love about having a child that crawls is he can get to what he wants. He can sit up on his own too so if he wants to play with a toy he crawls to it and sits up and plays with it. He also can play peekaboo which is totally cool.

What I don’t love about having a child that crawls is now he can get away and get away fast. We call it the run crawl. He will crawl to a corner and you hear some grunting and heavy breathing and I know what is going on over there in the corner, he is taking a massive. When he is done he crawls to some nearby toy and begins to play, and then the smell fills the room. So I look at him and ask “did you poop?” and he looks at me and smiles. So I get up and like lightning he is off run crawling away because he knows what I’m about to do and he doesn’t want to play ride the bull he wants to play with his toys while he sits in poop. Poop that the longer you leave in his diaper, magically begins to climb up the back of his diaper until it makes is magical appearance on his shirt. I swear his poop is alive and wants out. I catch him quick and throw him on the changing table. Now, honestly if his poop didn’t have legs and smell like road kill, one, I would never know he pooped and two, I would be happy to just let him play while he has a poopy diaper until he got tired of it and yelled at me. The fact is his poop has legs and does smell like road kill so I change him as soon as possible (I swear I do babe :)).

And so begins Xander the bull. If you ever want to ride a bull a real one or electric, you are more than welcome to come over and get your practice by holding on to Xander’s legs  for dear life which you try to change his diaper.