Milestones

 

Well, we are officially parents! Ok so that might sound weird but there are milestones in life and they are all over the place. You turn 16 you get you driver’s license, 18 and you can vote, go clubbing and buy cigarettes, 21 you get to drink, and finally the big 25 and now you can rent a car!!! So the way I see it Xander turns 4 and he gets to go to school and that is not only a milestone for him but for me as well.

Now I’m a parent that has to deal with other people’s kids, teachers, and other parents.  I’m going to have to pretend that I don’t call my kid an asshole (not to his face).  I’ll have to do this until I overhear at least on mom say “fuck” because that is the mom I want to get to know and make friends with.

I also feel like I’m in school. All the parents waiting outside the classroom door and no one is looking at anyone and no one is talking to anyone. The door finally opens and it’s like all the pressure is gone because we get to drop our kids off and walk away. Same thing happens when it is time to pick them up. I want to make mom friends but I’ll be damned if I got to be someone I’m not around those moms cause it just isn’t my thing.

So today was Xander’s first day of Pre-K. Xander has never been left with anyone other than family. Xander has no kid friends except his sister. Xander calls the children in his class “his kids”. Xander is amazingly totally awesome, but I still was worried.

This is how it went today. Steve took a half day at work so that he could be there for drop off and pickup. Xander wakes up at 7:50am, just as I’m opening his door and I tell him it’s time to get up and the excitement in the room could be literally felt. I got breakfast going and Zoe woke up. They both ate. Steve got them ready while I got ready. We live 1 mile from the school, we pack the kids up and head on over.  We get there get out of the car and wait for Ms. Starks to open the door. I was surprised that Xander didn’t try to talk to any of the kids that were there. Finally, the door opens and I sign him in and tell him to go in. Then remembered that I needed to go in so I could give the supplies we bought.  I go in while Steve is holding a crying Zoe because she doesn’t get to go in.  The teacher had assigned seats and Play-Doh out for the kids to play with. So I helped Xander get his out of the container and I looked at him and could feel how uncomfortable he was. I told him he was ok and that he was going to have a great time.  Then I saw the tears that he was holding back and I think I died a little inside. I asked him what was wrong and he asked me to stay and that is when my eyes teared up but no tear fell because I had to be strong.  All I could do was reassure him and get the hell out of there! Long goodbyes are not good.

Outside Steve is holding Zoe and sees that I’m upset and I tell him the story and he reassures me.  We go to the Boohoo breakfast and listen to stuff that isn’t really for us since his is just in Pre-K. We get to the van and Steve buckles in Zoe and we start to head out.

Where is Xander asks Zoe as we are backing the van up from the parking space we are in (so 2 seconds).  I think she asked 8 times. It was strange coming home without him and time went by slow (His is only there from 9-12). I kept thinking about what he may be doing and if he was ok.

Noon and we go to pick him up and he is sweaty and his cheeks are pink. He said they just got back from the playground.  We asked him if he had fun and he said yes. We asked what he did and he said nothing. We asked if he made friends and he said no. Let’s just say it seemed to be a one-sided conversation but he seemed happy…I guess.

That pretty much sums it up. After lunch, he was back to his asshole self. I put them to bed at 7:30 and they were both out in 30 minutes.

Tomorrow is another day except I’ll be doing it all on my own, no Steve to help me. I’ve already set out Xander’s clothes and have his snack placed in his backpack. He is excited to go again and I’m so very excited for him. I found myself just staring at him today and wondering where the time went and how I can’t believe how grown up he is.