Sometimes I think I set myself up for this shit. I mean I write a post about how great my child is and I think he fucking read the post and laughed and said “oh yeah watch this shit”. WTF happen from the weekend to now? My wonderful 13 month old turned into an asshole. I get it I really do it’s just a stage, a faze, a leap, a learning thing, um more like a pain in the ass!
It’s been a while since I have cried out of complete frustration, I believe it was a Tuesday a long time ago when I was trying to give Xander some medicine and he hit it out of my hand so I pushed him back. Today has been one of those days that I just have to constantly walk away from him because there is nothing I can do but cry with him and I did and it just doesn’t help. Having your child sit in front of you crying for no reason at all doesn’t hurt your heart; doesn’t make you want to hold him…all it does it makes you completely and utterly frustrated.
He is fed, clothed, clean, and has toys to play with and yet there he is staring at me crying, like snot running tears falling crying. I look at him and think to myself “you little mother fucker, you read my blog and now are making me pay for it”.
This is also the first time since I became a SAHM that I’ve said I can’t do this. Honestly I’m surprised that I even said it and really meant it. At the same time though I think I meant because I’m pregnant and all I can think is how in the hell am I going to do this? How am I going to handle having an infant and Xander if this is how he is going to act? Then I start thinking millions of moms do it every day and they are still alive so I can too, well, probably.
I asked if he wanted to take a nap and he said yes, and I felt elated. So there he is sleeping
and all I can do is hope that when he wakes he is a different child, the one that I posted about last time.